വേരുകള്‍ തേടി

deepak@kaayaloram:~$ ls /root/
ls: /root/: Permission denied

Two Cities (Not A Tale of)

There are two Trivandrums that I see. One that I see from the driving seat of my Maruthi Zen and the other that I see from the window seat of a City Bus.

No no, I'm not talking about the Trivandrum of the haves and the Trivandrum of the have nots. Even when I understand that it is an important topic to write on, I don't have statistics to do that. Now, I'm just talking about the looks of the city.

I had left Trivandrum in Island Express[1] in July 2002 and returned driving my Zen in March 2005. I've given the Zen to workshop yesterday for a round of patching and polishing and so he will be away for this whole week.

Ever since I had returned to Trivandrum, I was mostly seeing the city from the driving seat of the Zen. And I too had the waves of surprise, nostalgia, appreciation and back pain. But today, with him in the workshop, I took a City bus from Peroorkada to Statue, and got a window seat on the left row. Since I wasn't going for anything urgent, I was just absorbing the view of the city as a function of space while the bus accelerated and braked its way through the same old city. And again a new wave of surprise, nostalgia, appreciation and back pain rolled over me.

From the driving seat of my car, I see the city as an arrangement of roads, traffic islands, traffic signals, turns and parking spaces. From the bus I see the city as a string of shops and people waiting in the bus stands. (A third way of seeing the city is when I take a walk with some of my friends, and then I hardly see the city.)

Is the first view when I traverse the city with a purpose and the second when I just absorb the journey? Is the first about the results and the second about the details? Is the first about the me of today and the second about the me of yesterday?

No no, I think the first is about me keeping myself busy in thoughts.

Am I depriving me of a sweet joy by keeping myself busy in thoughts? Plans, analysis and purpose. Are they all conspiring to take away a different view of this world from me?

Ahhh. Its analysis again. Stop.

Notes:
1. Thats not that train's official name since ages, but people just don't call it Kanyakumari Bangalore Express. Local historians say that It was originaly named after Wellington Island in Kochi.

Democracy in action?

An SMS conversation.
July 22, 2007, 2 pm at VHSC School, PMG.

1. My SMS to Biren, Divya and Baiju Sir :

Am I seeing democracy in action? I'm in ward sabha of kunnukuzhi ward on behalf of my principal. More than 90% here are women.

2. Reply from Baiju Sir :

Its not for nothing that India is hailed as the biggest democracy.

3. Reply from Biren :

Let us not glorify it seeing it as a surprise. In Kerala at least, we know democracy is in action at ground level. It is only that we never participate in it. So its a time to pity on us.

4. My reply to Baiju Sir, Copy to Biren :

I'm hunting in the terrains of my memory to recollect even one meeting that i have seen in which women outnumbered men.

5. Reply to Biren :

Ya true. I pity you. And you can pity me.

6. Reply from Biren to 4 :

Almost all saksharatha classes were like that.

7. Reply from Biren to 5 :

May be its time u are out of that US. Keep it up. I have to go a long way to be out of that. So let me pity myself.

8. From Biren :

BTW, who is the councilor there? Kunnukuzhi Manoharan?

9. Reply to Biren :

Ya. This is some experience da. And I know, this too won't contribute to any action from my part.

And it didn't. My headache defeated my excitement, and I left the place at 4pm after the meeting, but before the group discussions.

For those not familiar with the process of decision making under janakeeyasootranam :- Ward sabha in corporations and grama sabha in panchayaths are the most basic units of democracy. Its a place where direct democracy is supposed to be exercised. All the residents of that ward can attend the meeting and put forward their requirements from the government for the next year. This would include things like road to their place, electricity, water, employment opportunity etc. These requirements have to be made into informal project proposals. The councilor will take all these projects to the corporation where joint projects would me made out of it.

Naga, I know these kind of gatherings will be a routine for you. Thats why I didn't SMS you.

Finishing Skills

I have this odd (or is it?) habit of starting to read a new book before finishing the one that I have been reading then. Its quite usual for me to be reading two or three books at the same time . Usually I'll end up having one book for the lazy mood, one for the alert mood, and one for the inspired mood.

By the way, I'm a very slow reader and sometimes very disloyal to books. I abandon many midway and those which I finish, I take ages to do it. That is the reason why I keep out of bibliophile gangs. Reading never comes to me naturally. Unless it is such a well written book. Classics like Idiot and Love at the time of cholera were abandoned mid way. Thats the kind of a Brutus that I'm.

But this last month or so, I have almost lost count of the books that I have left open on my table.

1. Hyperspace, A scientific odyssey through parallel universes, time warps and the tenth dimension by Michio Kaku.
   Source : Rajani, my student and hence no due date!
   Genre: Popular Science
   Status: Two parts of the four part book.
   Comment : A very informative and research provoking book.
2. The Magical Maze by Ian Stewart.
   Source : British Council Library - Already renewed thrice. Due date Aug 9, 2007.
   Genre: Popular Math
   Status: Into the fourth chapter. Out of eight chapters.
   Comment : Informative and easy read.
   
3. A Devil's Chaplain - Selected Essays by Richard Dawkins.
   Source : British Council Library - Already renewed thrice. Due date Aug 9, 2007.
   Genre: Essays, Evolution.
   Status: Just a few paragraphs.
   Comment : Not yet.
4. Chaos - Kramamillayimayil Kramam (കയോസ് - ക്രമമില്ലായ്മയിലെ ക്രമം) by K. Babu Joseph
   Source : Randhir Sir, my colleague and hence no due date!
   Genre: Popular Science, Malayalam.
   Status: Two of eight chapters.
   Comment : An introductory stuff.
5. The Discovery of India by Jawaharlal Nehru.
   Source : British Council Library - Already renewed once. Due date Aug 9, 2007.
   Genre: Politics, History, Philosophy.
   Status: Into fourth chapter. Out of 10.
   Comment : I'm determined to finish this one. The inspiring thoughts in the book which inspired me to dream but failed at inspiring me into action have bred another blog. - Orphaned Dreams
6. Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig. Just got it two days ago.
   Source : College library, GEC Barton Hill.
   Genre : Philosophy
   Comment : Promising.
   

Classes are beginning. I have lost hope in me now. I don't think I'm going to finish any of the above. How many things do I leave unfinished.

Dear authors, forgive this trespasser.

Oranges

[I had originally posted this some time during Feb 2007 in my class website (glassroom) under the tag introspection. The server crash there had wiped out this along with so many other articles. But today I stumbled upon an off-line copy of this in my hard disk. So I'm reposting it here.]

Christ Nagar School, my second home during upper primary and high school education, was celebrating her annual day on Feb 9, 2007. It was hard to resist when the present vice-principal, Thomas Mani Sir invited me that afternoon to come to the function in the evening. When I came to know that Vimal was also going to be there, I had no second thoughts in going there.

After the PTA executive meeting at college, in which I somehow managed to stay awake, there was still about an hour left before the function. So I went to Museum compound, made two rounds of brisk walking and then retired to one of the garden chairs. I had timed the second round in my stopwatch and noticed that I could complete one round (which by the way is said to be 700 meters) in 6 minutes 28 seconds, and made a quick mental calculation to satisfy myself that I'm keeping over the 6 kmph mark (100 meters per minute).

While on the chair I was wondering looking at the pigeons there - "I know the mechanics behind how these birds fly, but do I know how they manage to get that forward thrust along with the lift?" Hm, may be it is the shaping of the wings, but I was wondering more on why I did not wonder about this anytime till now.

When I knew Vimal was going to be late, I washed my face at the museum canteen and proceeded to drive to Christ Nagar. After parking my zen on the road, I walked down the lane past the imposing and unforgettable crescent shaped school building and to the ground where the function was happening. The function had already begun and most of the plastic chairs were already claimed. I was infact happy to find the gallery seats vacant, and promptly claimed one.

Watching the kids from there was thought provoking. The small ones, the big ones, the volunteers, the trouble makers, the crisis managers ... How do they all grow up so differently in the same school?

Then I met Rajani and her friends, then Biju Sir and family, then Vimal, then Thomas Mani Sir and also Ouseph Bhai. We discussed lot many things and enjoyed the mega cultural events. The major programs were a big concert by the students and a visualization of Kerala history from Vasco-da-Gama to present. Some factual errors like substituting the "urumi" of Unniyarcha with a "vadi vaal" could be ignored considering the effort that has gone in.

We left at around 8.45 pm, I and Vimal promising to return the next day morning to help Mani sir configure the moodle installation.

Next day morning at 9.15 when I reached the ground, I found the plastic chairs waiting for the truck. I was thinking aloud to Vimal about my days at school. When the volunteers used to assemble at school on the morning after every big function to fold all the steel chairs and stack them back in the go-down. When I told this to Mani Sir, he said :

"Those days are gone. Now parents don't allow their children to volunteer for physical labor"

I was thinking of the orange in the food pack that we volunteers used to get after stacking all the chairs.

PS:
Moodle is up and ready in Christ Nagar.

Alice in Wonderland

Two days ago (on June 26, 2007) - it was farewell party by the 2003-2007 batch EC students of GEC Barton Hill. The fellows had intimated us poor teachers the previous day that the function would begin at 11 am and had asked us not to bring our lunch to college that day. When the function didn't start even by half past twelve, I was telling to myself - "Hmm, I understand vengeance, but it shouldn't have been over food."

Anyway, the function started shortly, and after HoD and one or two people addressed the gathering, the students obliged to serve us the biriyani. (I was committed not to speak before food.) So after the staff had the biriyanis and the students had their ice creams (they wanted to end the party with food, I suppose), it was speeches' time again.

From last evening, I was thinking about what to tell my students on this important occasion. These two weeks, some of my B.Tech batch-mates (Rajeev, Sajith and Me) were having a very serious e-discussion on what Rajeev stated as The need to fundamentally reconcile "work" and "social responsibility". Since the spirit of that discussion was still hurting me, I decided to speak on those lines to my students.

So this is the jist of what I had spoken then - sans the repetitions and with more polished English. [This is noted down from memory. So those of who had heard the speech, please don't expect a transcript.]

Respected colleagues and dear students,

This is an occasion when memories and dreams wage a war to claim the emotional space inside you. Though, I understand that memories have much more chance to win, today I choose to speak more about the dreams.

With in about two to three years from now, most of you are going to make the most important choice in you lives. You are going to choose what you are going to with the rest of your life.

I know most of you are employed and many of you have more than one job to pick from. But I don't really consider that as any choice.

Some of you might have already wondered on what is the purpose of their lives. I don't intent to give an answer to that here. But in that process, some of you might have realised that it is impossible to remain happy when there is no happiness around you. And that you find the most happiness only when those around you too are happy. I'm addressing those who feel so.

Here again I don't have a one word answer on what to do. But there are some options that have come to my mind at different points in time. I'll try to present them here in an order of decreasing risk levels involved.

1. Join Politics

I have great respect to all politicians - except for those who are hand pulled to the chairs of power by their politically powerful parents. Even if it is for money or power, it is still a very courageous route to choose. And if it is to serve the society, then it is the most potential choice to that end. I didn't join politics only because I didn't have the courage for it.

2. Start your own company

India requires much more jobs to be created. If all of you are going to be employees who are going to be the employers for the next generation? Even if the motive is profit, I think you will be contributing to the happiness of your society. But if you can think beyond profit, think of alternative means of ownership and alternative ways of management too.

3. Join an NGO

Non Governmental Organisations still play an important role in most parts of India. The the ideal solution is to empower the local self government institutions, till the ideal solution is reached, I think being in an NGO you can directly help a lot of people.

4. Join a technology provider for the Government.

The centres that governments have set up to provide for its technological needs are finding it quite tough to attract and retain talented engineers. Most of the time, it is this lack of talent that stands in the way of modernisation of government. I don't need to tell to you the amount of effectiveness and efficiency that proper technology can bring to our governments.

5. Become a teacher.

Now we have reached the zero risk point in the gradation list it seems. It is for cowards like me who couldn't choose the higher ranked options. But still, at-least you take solace that you can speak about those options to your students! Here again many at times, many a people would have told you on the good that a good teacher can do to the society. [These days I'm actually wondering more on what bad that a bad/careless/uninformed/... teacher can do to the students].

6. Keep doing (for life) whatever your first employer makes you do.

But here again, try to do some service part-time. Be with the ones on the other cubicles, but then see the men on the street too. My personal experience so far tells me that part time activism doesn't take you that far. But again, I have some friends who have shown that it needn't be so.

I don't believe or advice that anyone of you should take one of the first 5 choices immediately. Each of it requires lot more of learning. Lessons from life and lessons from a relevant higher study. But when that point in life comes when you decide to choose, make the choice from a wide set of choices rather than choosing between this company or that company.

And don't postpone that choice for too long. Not more than 2-3 years. Coz, the constraints on you are only going to increase.

And if any of you decide to choose any of the first five options or for that matter, anything except the sixth, do leave me a note. I would love to share your joy.

Keep in touch. Keep mailing. Keep blogging.

--

Post Script: [From Alice in Wonderland]

'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,'
'I don’t know where. . .'
'Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,'

Fixing broken glass

Glassroom, my website, was shattered by a server crash. Every meaning was lost because the meaning was not in the individual bits and pieces of the glassware but in their sequence and structure.

The list of losses is big.

1. The user accounts of all.
   
2. All the stories posted so far and the comments to them.
   
3. All the configurations and tweaks that I had done.
   
4. ...
   

But not always do losses strike me quantitatively (read "as an enumerated list"). How this loss strikes me is as the loss of shared memory of a community. A case of Traumatic Amnesia.

But the community has to survive. Please join in folks (create new accounts) and start talking (posting stories and comments).

I will also try and add a feed from glassroom onto the sidebar of this blog.